


All I Can Give You Is Myself

by justanauthor



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Not Beta Read, Reunited and It Feels So Good, They work it out though, Trust Issues, bad communication skills, kenma is kind of bad in this im sorry, shoutout to hinatas mom, they both mess up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanauthor/pseuds/justanauthor
Summary: Hinata broke up with Tobio during an argument. Really it's just that Tobio has problems with trust and Shoyo thinks that it's his fault. He makes a bad decision and he later comes to realize what's going on. He goes to visit his family, and his Mother makes him realize that he made a mistake and can't live without Tobio. He leaves the family dinner early and meets with Tobio. (spoiler: they get back together in the end).
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3am and I could not get this idea out of my head. I'm sorry it's so short :(

The night ends with Shoyo having a big frown on his face, and Tobio thinking their night went pretty well. 

They walk into Tobio’s small apartment after a night of fine eating and sharing each other's warmth because of the harsh cold. The night filled with love, and warm feelings. He thought it had been a nice night, a happy one. Apparently, not to Shoyo.

Tobio, turned to expect a smiling Shoyo, instead he turned to the smaller man giving him a frown. Confused, he raises a brow and gives Shoyo a questioning look. Waiting for a response. 

Shoyo, getting the hint, sucks in a breath and straightens up. “Do you trust me Tobio?” 

Tobio blinked back in surprise.  _ Did he trust Shoyo? Of course he did. The latter knew, so why ask now?  _ Forgetting to respond, Tobio stands there with a look Shoyo couldn’t place. 

Taking his silence as a no, his eyes begin to burn. He clenches his fists and looks down at the ground. No longer at the man in front of him. “I trust you so much Tobio, i just feel like you don’t communicate with me the way we’re  _ supposed _ to”. 

He sucks in another sharp breath, and continues, “I.. I trust you so much Tobio. And yet, you can’t even give me a full answer? A  _ real  _ answer?” . 

At that, Tobio didn’t know what to say. He was dumbfounded. Because of course he trusted Shoyo. When they played, he didn’t need to know where he was, because he  _ knew  _ the other would be right by his side. He didn’t need to worry of failing, because there was no failing when he was with him. There was only going up, even when the world felt crushing at times. Of course he trusted Shoyo.. he just didn’t know how to communicate well with others. It’s not like he didn’t try, because he did. It was just hard because he found that after a while, they stopped listening. They stop caring. 

Shoyo looks at Tobio. The taller man is just standing there, seeming to be trapped in his own thoughts again. That’s what he meant, he wanted to know what was going on in the beautiful mind that was Tobio’s. But the latter wouldn’t let him get too close. Seeming to be scared of the thought of Shoyo helping bring in more light into his mind. 

He clenches his jaw, and forces himself to meet Tobio’s eyes. He tries not to blink. He knew if he blinked the tears would come down, and he would begin to let out sobs. “Te- Tell me not to walk away right now Tobio”. The other boy looks up, and there’s a look of fear in his eyes, but he continues to push the boy more, “Tell me you trust me as much as I trust you, and I won’t leave”. He blinks. Tears start to trail down his soft, round cheeks. And once they’re down, they don’t stop. 

He sniffles, it’s messy and he’s crying too much, he knows. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “Tell me you want me to stay. Tuh- tell me you want me to stay and I’ll stay Tobio”. 

Tobio doesn’t. He doesn’t tell him to stay, and he doesn’t say he trusts him as much as the other trusts him. Because he  _ can’t.  _ He wanted to. God did he want to. But he couldn’t. Trust was hard. It was so hard to give. Wouldn’t showing it be just as meaningful, rather than saying it? Since when did he need to outright tell Shoyo he trusted him? He’s always shown that he does. Why did Shoyo suddenly need to hear it out loud? 

In the middle of his intense thoughts, he hears a whisper. If it wasn’t Shoyo saying it, he doesn’t think he would have listened. 

“Please tell me to stay”. 

But he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t say a word. He couldn’t. 

_ Does Tobio not want me anymore? Was all this just some lie?  _ He begins to let out sobs. Not holding back anymore. He’s hyperventilating. He knows it. But he can’t stop racking out these horrible sobs. He can’t stop thinking of all the time they’ve been together. Was it all just to keep him around? Were any of the looks real?  _ He’s never going to fully trust me, is he? _

Seeing Shoyo break down crying makes him feel awful. He didn’t want to lie to him. He knew one day he  _ could  _ trust Shoyo fully. It was just so hard. It was hard letting people back in. It’s even harder when they leave. 

Shoyo starts to cough as he’s crying and hunches over. Tobio reaches for him, attempting to comfort the ginger, but Shoyo lashes out. Fingernails scratching at the taller man's cheek. Yelling at him to get away. For a moment, Shoyo feels bad. He wants to hold his lovers cheek, kiss it softly, and tell him he’s sorry. But he can’t bring himself to do that. 

He stands up, no longer hunching over, and turns towards the door. Sniffling, he turns the doorknob, and says his goodbyes to Tobio, “ I never want to see you again”. He closes the door and walks out to his car. Pulling out his phone, and shooting a text to one of his “old pals”. 

_ [lets meet up. I wanna have some fun ;) ]  _


	2. Is It Enough, If All I Can Ever Give You Is Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy ending!!  
> slight cw for making out without shirts on, and the tiniest bit of grinding.  
> enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s 4am now... please i just wanna sleep

Having this type of meeting was not something new to Shoyo. Before him and Tobio made it official, he would have “special” days where he would head to Kenma’s and relieve stress in  _ certain  _ ways. And yet, despite him not being with Kageyama anymore, he can’t shake the horrible feeling of guilt. It’s only been a mere 20 minutes since he ended things. But he couldn’t think. He didn’t  _ want  _ to think. He just wanted to spend the night with someone, and not think about the beautiful relationship he just ended with the love of his life. He wanted to forget everything. He just needed one night, one. 

Needless to say, he spent the entire drive burying his shame and guilt. 

When he arrives at Kenma’s house, the door is open. He can faintly hear the main room door opening, and footsteps approaching. 

As soon as the blonde is within arms reach, he pulls him down into his arms, and plants a kiss onto his mouth. The other following and leading the ginger to his couch. Pushing him down, and firmly straddling his lap. Shoyo engulfs the others mouth with his tongue, and urges him to take off his shirt. Kissing him with passion. Hoping that the harder he kisses Kenma, the easier it’ll be to ignore the ache in his heart. 

It’s when the blonde starts to grind down onto him, that he freaks out. 

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” he yells as he pushes the boy off of him. 

Kenma looks at him with a confused expression. This was something they were used to doing before Tobio, why the sudden change? 

Shoyo looks up at Kenma, and his voice wavers when he speaks, “You’re not him. You’re not my Tobio” he finishes. He puts his head in his hands, and starts to let tears fill his hands. After moments of silence and thinking, Shoyo rises from the couch and leaves. Apologizing right before he closes the front door. 




He was just  _ gone.  _ He was gone and he did nothing to stop him. Tobio tries not to cry as he replays the moment over and over in his head. He walks to bed without a word and doesn’t bother to brush his teeth, or do his night routine. 

It’s when he reaches his bed and lets out a breath, that he begins to cry. He lets it all out and sobs wholeheartedly and ugly. Snot comes out of his nose and his eyes turn swollen from crying. 

After a good while of crying, he wipes his eyes and nose. He tries to think rationally and remind himself that this was his fault. He reminds himself of his past, and that he has been left before. It was only a matter of time that Shoyo grew a brain and left too.  _ It was bound to happen. It was bound to happen,  _ he tells himself. Horrible thoughts come back, taking the form of reassurance and comfort. Later growing exhausted, he forces himself to sleep. 

He dreams of all the things he could have done better. 




The next morning Shoyo wakes up in his apartment for once. He doesn’t bother changing. He gets into his car and mentally chooses to go to his Mom’s house. It isn’t until he’s halfway to Kageyama’s house that he realizes he’s been going the wrong way. He was going where the heart is, not his mind. 

He manages to make it to his Mom’s before dinnertime. As soon as he enters the house, he’s greeted by Natsu and her two young children. 

“Uncle Shoyo!” little Toni yells happily. “Aiko look! Sho’s here!!” 

Shoyo smiles and grabs the two little kids, and gives a big kiss to both. He greets his Mom and Natsu before going to the family room to play with Toni and Aiko. 

“Uncle Sho?” Little Aiko asks as she nervously plays with her hands. 

“Yeah Aiko?” Shoyo asks, a little worried at her fiddling. “Are you okay?”

“Um..” she begins, still not meeting his eyes, “where’s.. Tobio-kun? He usually plays with my hair and I don’t see him”

He frowns and looks down as well. “He- He’s a little sick right now, and I don’t know when we’ll see him again”. He says, deciding it was better to lie, than to tell Aiko the truth. 

“Oh.. okay” Aiko says. She takes the lie and continues to play with her brother. Albeit, a little less focused now. Not seeming to really believe Shoyo’s answer. 

Uncomfortable, Shoyo gets up and turns to see his mom. Surprised, he jolts a little. She stands with a solemn look on her face. 

“Let’s go outside, and have a chat Shoyo”. 

Once outside, he pretends to not know what they’re outside for. 

“What’s up Mom? Do you need anything?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me Sho” she says matter of factly, “What happened with Tobio?”

He sighs, and looks at her. “I messed up Mom… I let him go, and he let me go. I- I gave him an ultimatum. And- and that was wrong of me, I should have waited and let him explain! I shouldn’t have scratched him, I just.. I just miss him so much Mom”. He finishes, taking a breath as he does so. 

She stays quiet for a moment. Thinking over her next words carefully. 

“I don’t want to take sides, because I love you both, but you’re both at fault here Sho. he did something for you to not trust him, and he didn’t react the way you wanted him to, so you hit him” she collects her thoughts again and continues to speak. “I am not saying by any means that you hitting him was okay. It wasn’t. And I don’t know the whole story, but honey, you need to go to him”. 

He nods, and decides to leave. He gives his mother a kiss and bids her farewell. He’s got a mission now. And he won’t stop until he completes it. 

The whole way over, Shoyo thinks about what to say. Practicing his lines, stopping by the convenience store and getting those little blue milk cartons Tobio loves so much. Even getting him meat buns. 




Tobio sleeps in for once. Something he has not done in a long time.too emotionally and physically exhausted from the previous night. He would have stayed asleep longer if not for the loud, erratic knocking on his apartment door. Begrudgingly, he got up out of bed, and headed towards the door. Not even bothering to check himself in the mirror. Knowing he’d be puffy-eyed and a red mess. 

As the knocking gets louder, he finally reaches the door and opens it harshly. “You have some nerve knocking like that on my door Hinata” Tobio says coldly. 

“Kageyama Tobio, I should have never doubted your trust in me! Every moment I have spent with you has been precious and I can’t live with the thought that I could live without you, or the memories I have created with you over time”. He looks up at Tobio and his heart sinks a little. His once blue eyes with stark white, were now puffy and red, no longer blue, but black looking. His once neatly kept hair, a mess of locks and knots. Shirt wrinkled and cheeks red. 

“I realized that even through all the sadness and doubt I experience, that there is no one other than you Tobio”. 

It goes quiet for a while. So quiet that Shoyo wonders if Tobio left halfway through his speech. But when he opens his eyes and looks up, he’s met with a teary eyed Tobio. It’s a moment before Tobio decides to speak. It’s quiet, nothing like the Tobio others would be used to. 

“Is it enough if all I could ever give you, is me?” he says. He sounds scared. Like he’s afraid of the answer Shoyo would give him. 

“Is it enough if I could never learn to trust completely? Do you trust that I’ll trust you with my everything? With my heart?” 

Shoyo doesn’t need to think for what he says next, “I don’t need you to be my safe space Tobio, because you make me feel like I don’t need one. You make me feel like I could take on the world with nothing but my bare hands”. 

Tobio speaks with his voice more sure now, not so afraid, “I’ll be by your side as long as you let me Shoyo”. 

Shoyo walks forward and presses his face into Tobio’s chest, but before he can forgive himself, he realizes he has to tell him about Kenma. 

“Wait- Tobio, before I let you forgive me.. There’s something I need to say” / 

Tobio looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “what is it?” 

“I.. I kissed Kenma. But when I felt it wasn’t you, I cried and couldn’t go further. He wasn’t you, no one is”. 

_ Slap  _

“You don’t.. You don’t love him do you?” Tobio asks with his brows together. 

“No! God no. I needed a distraction and he was willing to give one. All it did was make me miss you more and realize the mistakes I made, please Tobio, you have to believe me” Shoyo pleaded. 

“Idiot, of course I believe you,” Tobio said bitterly. He lowered his hand and gave a small smile, “I trust you Shoyo. If you say it meant nothing, then it meant nothing. All we can do from here is move on”. 

Hinata dove right in for a hug, “thank you for trusting me kags”. 

Tobio hugged him back, “Of course Idiot”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah yeah  
> i know i made kenma kinda the bad guy here, but someone needed to be it!  
> if you're into THE IT fandom, you could check out my other works! if not, there will be more haikyuu soon <3  
> -stan

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to @iwaizumispisscup on tik tok for helping me out with this au!! she is the best!! look at her art guys, she's amazing !!!  
> -  
> IF YOU GUYS ARE HERE BECAUSE OF MY IT WORKS, I HAVE A COUPLE ONE SHOTS PLANNED FOR MULTISHIPS AND ILL BE BACK REALLY SOON. SORRY IVE BEEN GONE I HAVE BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL AND YEAH.


End file.
